This poem was the winning entry in the 3rd annual "Independence " theme writing contest held every July at 2nd Saturday Poets in Wilmington.  

Thank you Peter, we are proud of you!

Unequal Battle
 
It is an unequal battle
this contest between an aging body
and a young vigorous cancer
but the body is still intact
missing a few parts, and tired.
Tired of this battle, tired of toiling
against an unseen foe, tired
of giving blood, tired of all those
pricks and penetrations
in arm, wrist, back and stomach
tired of dedicating time to the routines
of hospitals and surgeons, tired
of suffering the after affects
of so many healing poisons, tired
of wondering when will this body fail
cancer triumph, death collect its debt.
 
The tide of life is now devoted
to toiling away in hospital waiting
rooms and the tyranny
of its routines and rhythms
waiting for an appointment
waiting in large rooms filled
with other hopefuls
waiting quietly
waiting patiently
watching the staff moving
with vigor, smiling brilliantly
talking loudly
waiting in small sterile
claustrophobic rooms
watching the bland institutional
images on a computer screen
watching the screen go blank
waiting for technicians
with their machines and indifference
waiting for nurses
and their questions which are always the same
waiting for doctors who are always cheerful
as if this was a social call
waiting for the results
which are never so dire as to give up hope
and never so positive that hope is justified
waiting and wandering when will the other shoe drop.
 
This trial has possibilities
a doctor explains
We have this experiment
and that experiment
life is an experiment
something will work
we are making progress
five years ago we had nothing to offer,
five years ago you would be dead
now we have all
these possibilities.
Are your affairs in order?
 
No, nothing is in order
but this body is no longer content
to wait and worry
dependent on the routines of others
this body is not an experiment
this body belongs to me
this body is breaking free
declaring its independence
this body is going on the road…

 

                                    Peter Goodwin